Lex Chamberlin -- Anti-Phantasmic Spearmint Mocktail

Have to creep to the void-space to pay the bills again? Tired of guzzling curdled ghost-repellant from the store for a measly five minutes of effectiveness? With the hazards of modern living, we’ve all been there—getting to the deathwell for that sweet collateral currency can be a struggle. But dread no longer the ventures beyond—take our delicious minty mocktail for a spin!

Ingredients:

• 12 mint leaves, plucked from the grave to be entered

• 1 lime, quartered (be sure to source from an uncursed grove)

• 3 tbsp granulated sugar

• 3/4 cup club soda

• 1 cup crushed ice, gathered from the cemetery’s rainwater

• 1 tsp powdered bone shavings, taken from your direct bloodline

Instructions:

1. In a tall, undyed glass of choice, muddle sugar and two uncursed lime wedges for 90 seconds.

2. Gather the mint leaves onto one palm. Recite the grave owner’s full name, then clap down hard with your other hand. Repeat twice more to fully release the scent.

3. Add the leaves to the glass, then top with the powdered bone shavings and the remaining two lime wedges. Muddle for another 90 seconds.

4. Just before the sun dips below the horizon, add your crushed ice and club soda to the glass and stir clockwise twice and counter-clockwise thrice until mixed, making sure at least a sliver of direct sunlight seeps into the completed drink.

5. Chant apologies over your mocktail until the portal hour.

6. Chug within six feet of the intended grave, maintaining contact with the ground at all times.

7. Without delay, set the glass down above the body, use standard astral projection to descend through the headstone, and then glide confidently past the unsettled spirits to scoop up that sweet deathwell nectar in your government-approved containment vials. Too easy!

Notes:

• If you substitute cursed limes, the mocktail will have an opposite effect, from which it may be difficult to psychically recover.

• Protection should last up to fifteen minutes, depending on the quality of your bone shavings. Remember, the fresher the better! Source from your own body for best results.

• No recipe is a guarantee—always leave a letter for your next of kin when venturing into the void.